Having a baby means having your brain constantly switched on to entertain and meet the needs of someone which is largely a guessing game of trying to understand their wordless cues.

Having a baby is working out how to physically recover from birth/pregnancy and learning to accept your new postpartum body, all whilst trying to feel like ‘normal’ even though your world has completely changed – even if your partner and friends carry on with their own version of ‘normal’. It’s also learning how to deal with the loss of your independence if you are unable to drive or move around freely.

Having a baby is feeling guilty for your priorities completely changing to centre entirely around your baby, but then feeling overwhelmed and like you aren’t doing a good enough job for that baby.

Having a baby is working out how to deal with the anxiety you get every time you make plans or if those plans change out of your control. Learning what to pack to go out, the timings of getting baby washed, changed, fed, burped and then also getting yourself ready to leave on time between all of this.

Having a baby is choosing the right time to comment and the right time to bite your tongue every time someone you love comments on your parenting style, gives unwanted advice, oversteps your boundaries, gives you no privacy or thinks they know what is best for YOUR baby.

Having a baby is learning to think about all of the things you’ve never had to before – nursery tours, child benefit, bank accounts for little ones, doctor registration, sensory classes, swimming lessons, learning when half terms are, school catchment areas, safe play zones, baby proofing, the list goes on.

Having a baby is trying not to stress over your lack of income during maternity leave, or the costs of childcare for when you do end up going back to work. Or figuring out whether working is actually beneficial due to childcare costs and then navigating decisions such as deciding to be a full time ‘stay at home’ Mum.

Having a baby is doing the equivalent of a full time job, plus extra overtime at all hours of the day and night, often alone with no other adults present, and still needing to keep the house clean, dinners made and clothes clean.

Having a baby is constantly trying to work out if your mental health is at the point where you need professional intervention or if you’re just tired and overstimulated.

And finally, for me, having a baby is the most challenging but also the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. I’ve got my own little best friend who I can love unconditionally and navigate the world with, all whilst we both grow and develop together. But it’s hard, really hard. And as much as you sometimes want help from people, sometimes your brain just wants you to be on your own with your baby. And working out how to listen to your instincts is often a lot harder than we are led to believe during pregnancy.