The importance of our dining room

Slow Living

Leave a comment June 23, 2023 abiilouise

If you read my previous post, you’d understand that right now I am in a period of change.

I’m making an effort to live in the moment and reduce my social media exposure. So far, so good! I’ve been offline for over a week now and feel pretty positive about it.

So to extend this good feeling, I want to try and slow down in everyday life.

I’ve been doing some research and would like to implement elements of hygge into my lifestyle. To begin with, just slowing down and simplifying my days will be enough. It’s a big change – jumping off the hamster wheel and deciding to slow down and go against everything we are told is true. Such as chasing the career, having the modern home, the best clothes and possessions.

I’m stepping away from this. I’m buying secondhand, cooking local food from scratch, reading more, scenting my home and spending quality time with my family and friends.

I want my boy to grow up living in the moment and not always being glued to a screen. Once he is old enough, I want him to choose a lifestyle that has a healthy balance of work/life, indoors/outdoors – and my lifestyle will hopefully be a positive influence on his own.

One quick and easy element of hygge I’m trying to incorporate is to connect with friends and family more. Making time for good conversation and not just a quick text here or there.

Let’s see how this next week develops.

The flaws of social media

Leave a comment June 16, 2023 abiilouise

The content of this post is original to me, but undoubtedly you will have seen these reasons listed before. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently and have hit ‘refresh’.

For a very long time, I have come to realise that I was entirely too obsessed with social media. Particularly a certain photo sharing app. Whenever I would open my phone I’d immediately open Insta’ as habit. Then I would mindlessly scroll through the best bits of other people’s lives and subconsciously compare them to me.

Often I was doing this when I was feeling tired or lonely – so the other lives I was being shown would seem perfect, yet unattainable.

But recently I had a epiphany. Which is highly simple but to me it was a revelation.

If I just didn’t use the app then I wouldn’t be comparing myself to these influencers and other lives that I’m not living.

So I’ve deleted the apps. It’s currently been 48 hours social media free (not long I know but for me it’s a record!) and my brain feels a lot lighter. I’m focusing on the tasks at hand, having fun with my baby and reading, chatting or watching television with my other half in the evenings.

This morning, I’ve done cleaning, laundry, gardening and I’ve also picked some fresh flowers from the garden to display in the house. Before I would have just scrolled through TikTok!

A new start: designing the Mum that I want to be

Maternity money and future planning

Leave a comment January 7, 2023 abiilouise

Anybody that knows me, truly appreciates how much I love saving money.

Growing up I struggled to make any savings. However, when I met Dan and realised how I wanted to build a future with him, I started my saving journey and changed my perception of money. Long gone were the credit card shopping sprees to Bicester Village and now I view the cost of items in comparison to how many hours I would need to work to afford it.

Fast forward 6 years and throw in becoming a mother and running a house, I now ensure I have an emergency fund, savings for any car bills (insurance, MOTs, servicing etc.), a joint savings account with the OH to make sure we can afford our home renovations as and when they are needed, a ‘rainy day’ fund which tops up automatically whenever we spend money from the savings account, cash put aside for Christmas/birthdays and also a child savings account for our 9 week old son. On top of this I follow a whole heap of budgeting accounts on Instagram and Tiktok which constantly inspire and keep me motivated to continue saving.

Well now my maternity pay is due to decrease for the next 6 months with it completely stopping for the following 3 months, I welcome the challenge of working harder to save even more money and doing what I can to ensure my family are well-cared for. Here are some things I will be implementing over the next 9 months to try and stay ahead of the curve with my maternity finances:

1.Using my credit card

Yes, you read that bit right! I love having my credit card. Whenever I have a big bill to pay (car insurance, vet bill etc.) I always use my credit card to pay it off and then clear it as soon as the statement comes through. That way you don’t accrue any interest on your spending but it does give you a bit of extra time to get your finances for the month in order.

My credit card statement comes through on the 15^th of every month and is due for the minimum payment by the 10^th of the following month. I get paid on the 27^th every month so can budget to pay off the statement from two months of pay. Or if it is a planned bill, then take it from my dedicated savings fund and clear straight away.

That way, I can usually get an extra 2 weeks of savings put aside before the payment is due so my account never falls to zero – something that mentally makes me feel a lot better! Just make sure, if you plan to try this, that you keep an eye on when your credit card is due to be paid and that you don’t miss any payment dates.

2. Monitoring bills and checking for cheaper options

I’ve recently reduced my phone bill to a sim-only contract for 24 months, costing £23 a month through EE. This in comparison to the £65 I have been spending to pay off the phone means an extra £40 saved a month. We also have Sky TV and Broadband and after a conversation recently with one of their advisors, our monthly costs for everything have reduced from £112 to £91 (still a lot of money but we do consider this a necessity!). Also, my horse insurance renewal came through and for the first time I ever I shopped around for a better deal. Now rather than sticking with the company I was with for 7 years who were trying to charge me £119 a month, I have moved to a new company who charge £75 and gave me a month’s cover free of charge. Almost £45 saved! I also plan to shop around for car insurance renewals when they are due which should hopefully save us a chunk of money.

3. Cash is making a comeback!

I miss the time when I used to receive my weekly pay in a small brown cash envelope from my weekend job. When did we stop using actual cash? I love having a wad of notes or handful of coins – it feels much more tangible than the digital numbers we see on our banking app. So I am making a cash comeback – I have purchased a terramundi pot with the idea of saving my spare £1 and £2 coins and I also withdraw cash every month from my account to use when out and about. Any leftover notes at the end of the month I will put in my savings envelope for Christmas. I also find it so much easier to stick to a budget if you have only a certain amount of cash in front of you.

4. Weekly savings instead of monthly – easier to stomach!

Following on from the weekly pay idea above, I have changed my automated savings from monthly to weekly, to ensure that I pay myself in a manageable way. When my maternity pay reduces, I can pull these savings right back if I need to and then build them back up once I know what money I have to work with. I use Lloyds bank and they predict your future outgoings based on your direct debits and standing orders. So, if like me, your bills are all automated, this feature allows you to see what is yet to leave your account before your next payday.

5. Ensure savings are only used for their intended purpose

I am a bit of a bore when it comes to my savings and will only now use them for their intended purpose. My emergency account will only be used for actual emergencies or larger, unanticipated bills. My car savings account will only be used for my insurance, tax or MOT/servicing costs. My Christmas envelope is solidly for Christmas – you get the idea. I’ve even renamed them on my banking app! Be strict with yourself and watch your savings grow.

6. Free activities where I can

Having a baby opens up a whole new world of friendship with fellow Mums and Dads. You want to go out and show your baby the world, treat them to new outfits and experiences, yet your bank account holds you back. I’ve really got into reading with Albert and currently read him a kiddies book a day, plus a little bit of Harry Potter to stimulate his brain with the tone of my voice and more complex language. I also get him outdoors as much as the weather allows, and sometimes even then wrap him up warm and put his pram’s rain cover on. The fresh air seems to work wonders for him and he always has the best naps either in the baby carrier or in the pram. Often I will try and time his nap to then go for a nice dog walk with a travel mug of coffee, just for a little bit of me time. However, I will also allocate money monthly to take him out to sensory experiences or to meet up with other children. It doesn’t have to be expensive but the stimulation they get will be invaluable for their brain development!

7. Little treats

Sometimes you just need to think ‘TREAT YOURSELF’ and do it. Get your nails done, go for a nice lunch, purchase a new outfit that makes you feel good. Whatever it is I try my best to NOT feel mum guilt. My whole purpose has shifted to not only look after me, my animals and Dan but now solely to keep my baby fed, happy and healthy. So a little treat every now and then is 100% deserved.

8. Homemade gifts

This year I will attempt to gift a homemade item for every occasion for family members and friends. Fudge, biscuits, a cake, photo collections – the ideas go on. They are fun to make, will fulfil my creativity and will hopefully save us some money in the long run!

9. Becoming self-employed and claiming child benefit

Most recently, I have managed to get myself some freelance writing work to help alleviate the pressure financially. Plus, I LOVE writing. It’s my hobby and the chance to earn money from it is something I am jumping at! Legally, whilst on maternity leave in the UK, you can earn an income if you are also self-employed – you just need to ensure you complete your tax self-assessment to appease the HMRC. Also, make sure you fill in and submit the child benefit application – every mother in the UK is entitled to it and you get £21.80 a week.

10. Growing food

I am really going to put effort into gardening this year to ‘grow-our-own’ and plan for winter food. Potatoes, onions, tomatoes, cucumber, salad leaves and lettuces, beetroot, peas, various different berries, rhubarb and also use as many of the apples off of the established trees as possible. I am also going to revamp the kitchen garden to make the whole process a bit easier. So rather than an allotment, create a variety of raised beds and large containers to reduce the need for weeding and use the compost I have been adding to over the last year!

11. Picking up bits throughout the year for birthdays/Christmas

Would it surprise you to know that I have purchased the majority of Albert’s birthday and Christmas presents already for 2023? I hit the sales and took advantage of deals on – for example, Aldi had a Nuby ball pit in their ‘middle aisle’ reduced to £39.99 (RRP approx. £80), I’ve bought clothes from the Next sale and also books from The Works in their 10 for £10 deal. I’ve picked up a few more bits as well that keep that I know my family will like for Christmas and put them into storage in our spare room.

12. Selling second-hand items

I want to cut down on clutter as much as possible so I am putting things to one side that I plan to sell. I will list them on Ebay or Facebook marketplace when I get round to it but do not plan to do this until my maternity pay is coming to an end! I won’t be selling all of Albert’s baby clothes though as I will potentially reuse them if we are lucky enough to one day have another baby or I will donate them to my sister if she plans to!

Motherhood: the first 4 weeks

Leave a comment December 5, 2022 abiilouise

Having a baby means having your brain constantly switched on to entertain and meet the needs of someone which is largely a guessing game of trying to understand their wordless cues.

Having a baby is working out how to physically recover from birth/pregnancy and learning to accept your new postpartum body, all whilst trying to feel like ‘normal’ even though your world has completely changed – even if your partner and friends carry on with their own version of ‘normal’. It’s also learning how to deal with the loss of your independence if you are unable to drive or move around freely.

Having a baby is feeling guilty for your priorities completely changing to centre entirely around your baby, but then feeling overwhelmed and like you aren’t doing a good enough job for that baby.

Having a baby is working out how to deal with the anxiety you get every time you make plans or if those plans change out of your control. Learning what to pack to go out, the timings of getting baby washed, changed, fed, burped and then also getting yourself ready to leave on time between all of this.

Having a baby is choosing the right time to comment and the right time to bite your tongue every time someone you love comments on your parenting style, gives unwanted advice, oversteps your boundaries, gives you no privacy or thinks they know what is best for YOUR baby.

Having a baby is learning to think about all of the things you’ve never had to before – nursery tours, child benefit, bank accounts for little ones, doctor registration, sensory classes, swimming lessons, learning when half terms are, school catchment areas, safe play zones, baby proofing, the list goes on.

Having a baby is trying not to stress over your lack of income during maternity leave, or the costs of childcare for when you do end up going back to work. Or figuring out whether working is actually beneficial due to childcare costs and then navigating decisions such as deciding to be a full time ‘stay at home’ Mum.

Having a baby is doing the equivalent of a full time job, plus extra overtime at all hours of the day and night, often alone with no other adults present, and still needing to keep the house clean, dinners made and clothes clean.

Having a baby is constantly trying to work out if your mental health is at the point where you need professional intervention or if you’re just tired and overstimulated.

And finally, for me, having a baby is the most challenging but also the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. I’ve got my own little best friend who I can love unconditionally and navigate the world with, all whilst we both grow and develop together. But it’s hard, really hard. And as much as you sometimes want help from people, sometimes your brain just wants you to be on your own with your baby. And working out how to listen to your instincts is often a lot harder than we are led to believe during pregnancy.

Homebird Living: the 2022 Farm edition

Leave a comment August 17, 2022 abiilouise

As a true Homebird, being frugal is something I try and do daily. I don’t go overboard and make my own cleaning products or only forage for food, but I do what I reasonably can with what my lifestyle allows.

As a bit of background, I’m 27 years old, work full time, with two horses, a terrier, a very busy farming/haulage driving boyfriend and we are currently 7 months pregnant. We also have a farmhouse renovation project we are funding as well as saving for our baby and everything else life throws at you! So frugality comes in handy with our lifestyle.

First things first, our animals never go without anything. The dog needs hypoallergenic food as without it she gets super itchy. The horses will get hay, feed, farriery, vets visits whenever required and our herd of cows are being fed a lot more than usual this time of year due to the dry weather (*does a quick rain dance*).

Yet, even with our animals taking priority, there are simple things I try and do to save us money. As well as certain things I’m going to start doing which could also help.

1. Cooking – such an overarching subheading as there is literally SO much that can go into this category but I will give summarising it a go. Also, I have previously written an article for the Ladies Countryside Community about saving money on food shopping – click the link here to have a read: https://ladiescountrysidecommunity.com/blogs/food-glorious-food

Convenience is a great thing and supporting local is important to us so we try and do this where possible. I have put in place a milk delivery which comes on a Saturday and Tuesday and we have 6 pints of milk, 1 pint of orange juice and a loaf of sliced bread. It’s just super handy to have this in place as we would forever run out of milk or bread and not realise until one of us goes to make some cereal. So always having fresh delivered is fantastic and it also supports a local farmer! Before I was pregnant we also got eggs delivered weekly but as I have to have red lion stamped eggs currently, we stopped this. We have tweaked this order over time to figure out how much we needed and because of this, we never have any wastage so no money going down the drain.

I may reduce the bread to once every two weeks as it does keep well in the fridge and I really fancy making my own bread. I’ve done some experiments and I’ve found a super easy mix from Tesco which is £1 a bag and really doesn’t need much intervention from me! I also have the chance of borrowing a bread maker from the in-laws so may give this a go to see how easy it is. We absolutely LOVE fresh bread and butter in our house so I think this would be a treat for us daily and would perhaps also save us a couple of pounds here and there.

Also, if people gift you food find a way to use it as part of your meals. For example, at the moment my grandparents and in laws have had a much more successful gardening year than I have (I’m blaming pregnancy and heat!) so they are constantly gifting me the extras they don’t need. We get cucumbers, tomatoes, jams, chutneys and lots of fresh fruit so I’ve started freezing what I can and storing using the rest up in meals. Yes, it takes a little more time but actually you can really tell the difference between homegrown and shop bought produce. My favourite thing at the minute is to use old takeaway tubs to freeze washed tomatoes along with herbs, salt, pepper and also garlic. When you then defrost these they become mushy and you automatically have yourself a base for a pasta or curry! We also have an absolute glut of cooking apples from this huge apple tree in our garden so I have washed, chopped and frozen as many as I can in our freezer to use for crumbles and pies over winter.

Homegrown – as I said above, my garden really hasn’t done too well this year. I’ve had a few bits and bobs but nothing I could say ‘this has saved me so much money’ so I will try again next year! However, we did have some of our pigs butchered into sausages, gammon joints, steaks and bacon so we have an abundance of meat to use. We are selling bits here and there and all money is going to FIL to go towards the costs of feeding/ butchering but actually, we now have so much meat to last us months, if not years! So these cuts of pork are featuring heavily in our meals at the moment, meaning we aren’t having to spend much money on meat. FIL also attends livestock markets weekly (part of our family business relies on being at these markets) and quite often he will come home with boxes of beef or lamb and give us some. So we always seem to have decent cuts of meat to use in the freezer which is handy.

2) Renovating – I think for me the biggest hurdle to overcome was actually just accepting help. For months I felt so guilty because my MIL would come down to our house and help/organise the renovation of certain rooms. Growing up, my own family only really got professionals in to decorate the house so I had no skills to bring to the table. Yet, she has taken her time with me and now I can confidently say I am happy painting, sanding, wallpapering, and also building furniture! It’s so nice to put your own stamp on your house – something I never appreciated before we moved to the farm and now I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also love up cycling old pieces into new ones so a lot of our renovation has only cost me time and no money. Just occasionally fuel money to collect the furniture that others don’t need.

Also, renovating a bit at a time has helped us save money and stress. We’ve done each room as we need it! So far we have done our bedroom, bathroom, snug, kitchen and dining room, downstairs WC and utility, nursery and spare room. We are now working on the extra toilet, extra spare room, hall, stairs, landing and living room with fire place. Doing it gradually has helped us save a lot of money and meant we could save up more money before starting the next room. This allowed us to keep saving into our emergency fund account and keep living normally rather than scrimping for pennies. Also, by doing what we can ourselves means we again are saving on paying for professionals.

3) Living below our means – working on my budgeting monthly has really helped to start saving more monthly to help towards our future costs. I’ve currently got savings for Christmas, the baby’s bank account, emergency funds, a small buffer in my current account and also my own personal savings. For a long time I would live pay check to pay check but I reevaluated how I spent my money and now I’m in a happier position! There is still lots to be done but I don’t feel stuck anymore. Dan has always been good with his money management so I’m glad it’s finally rubbed off on me! To help keep on track I use my notebook to update my savings and debt monthly and keep it somewhere accessible. I also review all my monthly costs and have recently switched horse insurance providers and have started claiming what expenses I can through work (business mileage and my eye test so far!).

If any of my other homebirds out there can give me any other tips or tricks to help with the modern frugal lifestyle I would very much like to hear them. I don’t have time to do endless surveys or have lots of things to sell on eBay so ideas that fit into my kind of lifestyle would be fantastic!

Take note folks…

This Homebird is Nesting

Leave a comment June 15, 2022 abiilouise

I am so happy to be able to announce that Dan and I are expecting our very own little farmer due on the 31^st October. We are 20 weeks into the journey so far and it has been one hell of a ride! I was lucky that my symptoms in the first trimester were not terrible and aside from a little nausea and tiredness, physically I was fine.

When the tell-tale blue cross first appeared on the pregnancy test I was home alone. The wave of emotions that rolled over me were like something I had never experienced before. At first I was so excited and couldn’t contain myself. Tears just started rolling down my face and I didn’t feel like I could stop shaking. Then all of a sudden a wave of worry rolled over me.

I am naturally a paranoid person and have suffered with anxiety before so all of a sudden the excitement was replaced with every nervous and terrifying thought that stems from every single negative story I have heard of pregnancy and birth. Mainly chaotic scenes in films or documentaries created to hook viewers. Very quickly the happy tears were mixed with tears of fear and I was sobbing. I was ecstatic but terrified. A mix of emotions I had never experienced simultaneously before.

Once Dan came home and sat down in front of the TV, I showed him the test. He was happy but clearly also had some mental processing to do so we watched TV together and then went to bed. But the next day he was much more open to talking about the pregnancy and we both knew that we have such a big journey ahead of us. We booked the first midwife appointment, an hours long consultation where we went through family history and health questions as well as blood tests. We then had our 12 week scan booked for 21^st April.

This scan made everything feel SO much more real.

Our baby was clearly happy – bouncing around, kicking out and waving its little arms around on the screen, showing off for the doctor! So we bought scan pictures and made plans to tell our families.

Upon reflection, I do think that up until this point it was hard for Dan to relate to what was going on. From about 5 weeks on I knew something was happening as I was feeling nauseous, tired and off my food (I am a real foodie so this for me was world-changing!). However, Dan’s life hadn’t altered much as he was just supporting me when I wasn’t feeling so fresh. Yet, once he saw his baby bouncing around on the screen, I really did see something change in him.

Once our families all knew (everyone was ECSTATIC and we have such a good support network immediately around us – a really lucky position to be in), we started making plans to save and then renovate the nursery.

We are now halfway through the first part of our journey and apart from a growing bump and some crazy emotional rollercoaster moments (hormones are WILD), we are getting on very well.

Let’s hope our bump is happy and healthy come our 20 week scan this Friday.

Money-Saving Tips for your Garden

Leave a comment February 26, 2022 abiilouise

I have got big plans for the garden this year. BIG plans.

As part of my money saving journey I want to efficiently use the outdoor space I have to grow food. Dan and I have planned that our next big purchase will be a chest freezer and then whatever fruit and veg’ I grow this year, I can freeze the surplus or make it into dishes and then freeze. It will also be useful to store larger amounts of meat meaning that I can plan meals without the need to go shopping every week.

This post is me documenting how I am saving money in the garden. Bear in mind I am an amateur so any tips or advice you have then please let me know in the comments below!

Greenhouse – Storm Eunice destroyed my second-hand plastic greenhouse so to start seedlings this year I am using upside down clear plastic storage boxes and also 2 x basic seed propagators I picked up from B & Q. I keep these in our unheated wooden porch overnight but then in the day I put them out on the patio to try and encourage the seedlings to harden up. The temperature can still drop over night to below freezing so I am reluctant to leave them out constantly until I know it will stay warmer. Also, you do not need any fancy pots to start seedlings – I just reuse the plastic trays you buy flowers in and then transplant the seeds into the pot/ground but if you are looking for a compostable option then use toilet roll centres or large egg trays. No need to buy any fancy pots!

Compost – I used to buy bags and bags of compost but this year I will be using my own compost bin and the ever-growing muck heap of horse manure! The previous owners of the house left a compost bin behind so I have placed in on to 4 patio slabs to make an even base and have started using it. I put in grass cuttings, leaves that I’ve swept from the garden or courtyard and paper. I also have a little bin in my kitchen that I put eggshells, vegetable cuttings and fruit peels which I then tip into the compost bin. Every so often you mix it all round to help it break down but other than that, you let the worms do their thing!

Seeds – I have still got lots of seeds that are in date to grow this year so I don’t think I will need to buy any at all. Also, I have potatoes chitting in the pantry so will plant those instead of buying sets. I also always have a plant swap/seed swap with my Grandparents so they will be growing me tomatoes, cucumbers, chilli and pepper seedlings and I usually then grow them some runner beans and then prepare some pickled beetroot for them.

Garden layout – As much I would love to head to my nearest garden centre, purchase multiple raised bed kits and make my garden look tidy and uniformed, my bank account is saying NO! So rather than buy them I am trying to use what I have laying around the farm to make things look tidy. So bricks, odd bits of wood, second hand patio slabs and an edge cutter are helping to make borders and different ‘areas’.

Water collection – the farm harvest rainwater into 1000L IBC water tanks so this year I will be doing the same. Rainwater is so much more natural for young plants as there is a lack of any chemicals so using only this to feed the plants should help keep them strong.

Jars and storage – For the past year I have been saving every plastic takeaway container and every glass jar. My family have been doing the same so I now have an ample collection ready to use when I need to store my food! This year I am going to grow the following:

Strawberries, carrots, onions (red and white), beetroots, potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, chillis, peppers, leeks, pickling cucumbers, dwarf French beans, peas and sugar snap peas, raspberries, rhubarb, lettuces, rocket, kale and blackcurrants. With this lot I will hopefully have enough fresh produce to eat through the summer and then whiz up into jams, pickled beetroot and onions, portions of vegetable to freeze, chunky tomato sauces, curry sauces and also puddings!

So with my plans in place and the days getting warmer, I have started garden maintenance to ensure that my harvest is worthwhile. Little and often I will get the garden into shape. Spring is not far away and I cannot wait!

Habits of a Homebird

Equestrian | Gardening | Home | Farming

Author: abiilouise