Renovating our farmhouse: 6 months on

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If you’ve been following my journey on Instagram you’ll know that in March, Dan and I moved into our forever home. I wanted to post another update following my blog post in June to update readers on what progress we are making alongside working full-time!

For a very long time the property was used as a halfway house for a religious charity so we were effectively taking ownership of a HUGE project. It was obvious not a lot of money had gone into any of the decoration, electrics, plumbing, the heating system or large kitchen – everything had been done as cheaply as possible and safety didn’t seem to be a factor in that. However, underneath the shoddy wiring and interesting décor’ is a jewel of a house just waiting to be rediscovered.

The first major task was the farm electricity. The whole farm was run off of the main, outdated electricity board on a household, non-watertight cable. Once this was sorted, the electrics in the house were then tackled and separated, with certain sections being turned off completely for being unsafe. The large house is now run off of 3 circuit boards so each section can work out how much electricity is being used.

Secondly, we had to work on the windows. Our house was the only part of the large property that had original, single-pain sash windows which looked lovely from afar but didn’t match the rest of the PVC windows on the property and did NOTHING at keeping the house warm. We had to replace 4 windows (1 which was over 2 metres long!) and fit a new PVC, lockable back door.

Amongst these other projects, I set to decorating the spare room so we could have guests stay over. This project cost about £80 in total and involved buying paint and accessories for the room. Everything else we already had or were gifted. Our own bedroom, living room and bathroom I decorated with the help of Dan’s Mum and sister just before we moved in, so they were already liveable. The bathroom does need replacing but with a little spruce up and regular cleaning, it should last us another 2-3 years. That way we can stagger the cost of the renovation. I’ve also been working on the garden all summer as well and next year I plan to really knuckle down on the vegetable garden and patio area. We are also planning to get our 2 stable blocks in place for the winter but this involves the boys and their diggers! So just waiting on some time from them – not that they really have any spare with how busy their business is.

Thirdly, our part of the property didn’t have a kitchen. It had space for a kitchen but the room was a large utility and 2 bathrooms. It’s taken a long time and we are about a month away (and a lot of hard work!) from having it finished but we are NEARLY there. We’ve removed walls, built stud walls, replaced the ceiling and rewired the whole room. Wren Kitchens have designed us my absolute DREAM kitchen and we are now just waiting for the plastering to be done before we get it painted and fitted. It will soon be a medium sized kitchen with a walk in pantry, mini utility room and downstairs shower room.

The kitchen and attached rooms are our most expensive project by far. It’s actually daunting working out how much money we soon need to part with to pay our lovely tradesmen for their hard work. Yet, once this kitchen is fitted our house is much closer to being a home.

I will do another progress report in the next 6 months – at that point we will have lived on the farm for a whole year! I already have a list of projects as long as my arm that I’d like to crack on with but a lack of time, lack of money and my sanity get in the way.

Follow me on Instagram for more updates.

Long overdue Homebird update – 2021

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Since last year a lot has changed.

Dan and I said goodbye to our rented terrace house in March this year to move into our farmhouse. It’s a huge project as the house was not a home at all. It took a team of us to get the house clean enough to start decorating, then once we’d got our essential rooms done, we moved in.

We currently have our bedroom, our snug, the guest bedroom and we’ve given the bathroom a spruce up to get us through the next few years. We’re using the property’s existing kitchen but have just put the deposit down on a new kitchen which will be fitted into where the current large utility room is.

We are both putting money away every month to pay for these projects but something I couldn’t wait to work on was the garden.

It was such a large unused space, laid mostly to lawn but with a patio area and brick built barbeque. I am sure over the next few years the garden will change even more but I’m so happy with the changes we’ve already made:

  • We have removed and reused the picket fence from the top of the garden to the bottom of the garden to separate the lawn from where I wanted my kitchen garden.
  • We’ve stripped down and rebuilt the wooden rear porch. A clematis had become rooted within the wooden planks and damp had seeped in.
  • We’ve taken out the old pond and created a rustic strawberry patch with flower bed towards the back.
  • We’ve recycled my friend’s fabric greenhouse and created a large allotment patch to grow fruits and vegetables in.
  • We’ve cut down two thirds of the ancient apple tree as it’s started to go rotten. We will still have a large crop of bramley apples for the next few years but I imagine that the tree will eventually need to come down for safety reasons.
  • We’ve painted the rear of the house cream, as it had become discoloured and was a dark yellow when we first moved in.

By the end of next year I’d love to have the garden fencing all finished, along with a large glass greenhouse in place ready for next Spring. I also want to build large raised beds around the edge of the kitchen garden and plant a plum and cherry tree. We are currently growing carrots, raspberries, blackcurrants, rhubarb, garlic, mangetout peas, sugar snap peas, 3 different tomato varieties, onions, leeks, dwarf French beans, rubber beans, potatoes, corn, peppers, spinach, basil, mustard leaves and melons. Just a few things which we will need to harvest and freeze for use throughout the winter!

Speaking of winter, we also want to have the stables in place which will be a lot of work stripping back dead trees and flattening the earth underneath. We have 2 stable blocks each with 2 12 x 12 stables in and both Hartley and his buddy Lenny are currently living out 24/7. It’s incredible having the boys at home and I often work with Hartley now later in the evening to ensure I can fit everything in.

Once the kitchen is in I will stop with any house renovations over the winter and just focus on keeping on top of the house as it is. We have a living room to renovate with the original open fireplace still present – something I am so excited we get to use! I also want to decorate the porch and dining room, along with the stairs, hallway and landing but that is a big job.

I’m going to keep posting my updates but now everyone is up to date I’d love to hear your thoughts! I’m sharing daily updates of our progress over on my Instagram page (@abiidowdy) so head over to follow what we get up to.

Thanks for reading.

Winter yard essentials for the full-time worker

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With the freezing temperatures and daylight not breaking through until 7:30am, dragging yourself out to the stables can be difficult. Equestrians often face early mornings, late evenings and not a lot of reward in the winter months so I thought I’d pull together my absolute yard essentials to help get you through.

With my horse on a DIY yard and working 9 hour days, I will often only see my pony in the dark during the week. Without top notch facilities it’s difficult to keep any exercise regime consistent so I’ve learnt to be adaptable and use my time efficiently.

A decent headtorch – one job that you can’t escape is poo picking. It has to be done all year round and regularly – especially if like me you have paddocks with a public footpath running through! To try and salvage what daylight I can, I’ve started poo picking after work in the dark with my headtorch on. It’s not as easy but it does mean the lighter half hour between 7:30am-8am I can work my horse to some capacity! I also know a lot of equestrians ride with a head torch. I’m lucky enough to have a single flood light in the school so can see 1/3 of the arena when it’s pitch black so haven’t attempted riding with a head torch just yet, however I would like some advice from someone practised!

Yard gloves – different to ordinary woolly gloves, these have a rubber coating similar to gardening gloves that help keep the moisture and cold out. I currently have the Shires Aubrion gloves and they’re a complete game changer for frozen mornings! Frozen locks, frosty pitch forks and sharp hay seeds are no longer an issue – they’re also great to wear whilst de-icing the car.

Wellies – every equestrian need a decent pair of wellies to get them through winter. Wellies with a neoprene lining are the best at keeping feet toasty warm whilst also keeping them dry. I personally have a pair of Joules wellies with a neoprene calf (printed with little bees!) that I’ve worn every day for over a year and they’ve not split or torn – a great bargain in a 30% off Joules sale in 2019.

Waterproof trousers – I think depending on how long you’re outside will decide on whether you go for just some trousers or whether weatherproof overalls are necessary! The trousers are the cheaper option though and are easy to layer over your clothes quite quickly. I don’t even know what brand mine are but they’re fab for when I nip straight to the yard from work. Mountain Warehouse and camping shops often sell these fairly cheap or you can invest in some that are suitable to ride in from various equestrian brands. A lot of trousers/overalls also have reflective strips on so whilst turning out or riding they make sure you have extra visibility so you can be seen by other road users.

Reusable coffee cup – whether it’s covered in glitter, slogans or completely unbranded, EVERY equestrian needs a decent portable coffee cup. Every morning I make myself a coffee to go to heat me up on the way to the yard. The Chilly’s bottles are perfect for keeping coffee, tea or soup REALLY hot for a long time. I’ve literally left my coffee in it overnight and it was still warm in the morning – a worthwhile investment if you work outside or plan on going riding.

A “can-do” attitude! – I’ve really had to change my attitude around the winter months to not lose sight of why I keep horses. I used to let somebody else turn my horse out in the morning and then just finish my jobs as quickly as possible in the evenings. I’d be miserable and felt out of shape and unconfident in the saddle. However, I’ve changed my perspective slightly by thinking of the winter months as preparation for the Spring. I’ve started signing up for riding club training (lockdown depending of course) and organising rides out with people at the weekend. I’ve also made myself a promise that I’d do something with my pony everyday. Whether it’s a walk inhand, lungeing, stretches, or grooming, all of these things help my bond with Hartley develop.

So fellow equestrians, are there any essentials that I’ve missed? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

5 warming winter recipes

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I’d definitely recommend investing in a soup maker or slow cooker to get you through winter. They’re both so easy to use and you can cook virtually anything in them!  I love taking healthy food to work and anything warming always fills me up more than a boring sandwich. Plus, when you’re out in the cold all day the best feeling is to come home to a warm house smelling of good food. Take a look at the recipes below and let me know if there is anything delicious I should try.

1. Tomato, red pepper and chorizo soup

500g vine tomatoes, 150g chorizo, 1 red pepper, 1 tsp smoked paprika, sprinkle of mixed herbs, 300ml vegetable stock and a drizzle of lemon juice.

Chop it all up, click the smooth option on your soup maker and 30 minutes later you’ll have the BEST soup ready to eat!

2. Chilli con carne

1 tin of red kidney beans, 1 tin chopped tomatoes, 3 small chillis, 250g mince, half an onion, a handful of chopped cherry tomatoes, one third of green pepper, table spoon of gravy granules, 1 x beef stock cube, smoked paprika, some crushed chilli seeds, salt and pepper.

Throw all this in the slow cooker and heat on the low setting for 6 hours. I always end up throwing more gravy granules in but pair this with either a quick cook rice packet or tortillas and it’s a CRACKING winter meal.

3. Beef stew

500g chopped beef (you can often pick this up cheap reduced in Supermarkets- just pop it in the freezer if you don’t plan on using it straight away) 1 x beef stock cube, 300ml boiling water, gravy granules and whatever veg you have leftover in the fridge! Carrots, potatoes and suede are good choices but I personally also like adding mushrooms and peas.

Again, a similar technique to above – throw it all in the slow cooker and put it on a low heat for approximately 8 hours. If you wanted to add dumplings to the mix then you need to prepare these first. It’s just 150g self-raising flour and 70g of suet mixed together and rolled into golf ball sized dumplings. When you’re coming to the end of the 8 hours, turn the heat up high and put the dumplings in the stew mix after stirring. After 30 minutes you’re winter feast will be ready and your house will smell AMAZING.

4. Honey roasted gammon

1 x joint of gammon, honey, salt and 100ml of water.

Pour the water in the slow cooker, place the joint in the centre of the cooker and drizzle with honey. Then place on a low heat for 8 hours. This is a great one for a Sunday! I will usually sort the horses, throw this together and then by the time Dan and I are home in the evening, we will have a delicious gammon joint to have with either vegetables, fresh bread or chips.

5. Root vegetable soup

2 x potatoes, handful of leeks, 1 carrot, 100ml double cream, 100ml milk, 500ml vegetable stock, salt and pepper.

Peel and chop the potatoes, chop the carrot and also the leeks. Throw them all in the soup maker along with all the stock, milk and cream and put it on the smooth setting. This makes 3 portions of soup and is a great one for the weekends ahead of a week at work.

My 2020 Gardening Review

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Now that we’ve lost the light in the evenings and the mornings are usually cold and damp, it makes it very hard to find motivation to spend time in the garden.

Just on Friday morning I was out there in my PJs, wellingtons and hair thrown up in a messy bun getting soaked in the rain – all before work. Many of you know that I adore my little garden and I’m so proud to have transformed it from a blank space in to a prosperous little fruit and vegetable patch. This year, as strange as it’s been for everything surrounding Covid-19, I’ve fallen in love with gardening and have developed a passion for growing my own food. Next year will undoubtedly be bigger and better but I’d love to know if you have any tips and if there are any plants that I should be focussing my energy on!

Tomatoes: these are the gift that keeps on giving! My favourite fruit to grow as their yield is so fantastic. I’ve still got twelve out of thirteen of my original tomato plants, a mixture of Red Alert, Red Cherry and Gardener’s Delight, still growing fruits and I must have had over 300 tomatoes from my garden. I use a lot of tomatoes in my cooking and will also pop them like sweets now I know how good a homegrown tomato actually tastes. Next year I would like to try and grow some bigger tomato varieties – any suggestions would be welcome!

Cucumbers: for anyone following my Instagram stories you’ll know that I’ve had a LOT of cucumber plants this year. For some reason I just can’t keep them alive and I do everything I can! Is there some magic trick?! Can any seasoned gardener help me?! I’ve had about 11 plants in total and I’ve managed to grow 2 cucumbers. My Grandparents have harvested up to 20 cucumbers from that number of plants so I know my yield isn’t normal.

Runner beans: Another disaster. I had 3 plants that produced a total of 2 runner beans. They were watered and cared for but produced a lot of flowers and nothing else. Obviously I need to work on getting natural pollinators to my garden (which means flower shopping!!!) but has anybody else had an AWFUL year with their beans?!

Melons: I’ve had 6 melon plants, 2 of which actually produced a form of melon which quickly went rotten. A heartbreaking find as I was so excited to taste it but I have harvested the seeds ready to try again next year. I still have 1 melon growing that is currently slightly bigger than a golf ball so stay tuned…

Chillies: these hot little rockets are great to grow and will be returning in 2021. I had 4 plants and I’m still harvesting! I did have to google why my chillies were turning black but, do not panic, that is normal. I’ve got a mixture of red and green chillies, all super-hot, that I throw in my pasta and curry dishes – I just love spice!

Strawberries: a very short-lived crop but I will definitely be creating a strawberry patch in 2021. The 3 little plants I had produced a few strawberries which I quickly ate – I think I need to invest in about 20 more plants!

Potatoes: I harvested quite a few small potatoes this year from a barrel planter and I’m definitely going to be planting these again. I’ve really enjoyed roasting these in a little oil with some salt and the skin left on.  They’re dead easy to grow – you literally just leave them and drizzle some water every so often.

Carrots: I’ve still got these to dig up – fingers crossed that they’re delicious!

Salad planter: earlier this year I created a planter out of an old palette – an idea I saw on Pinterest. I must admit, the salad I did harvest from this was lovely but I didn’t plant anywhere near enough seeds! A lesson learnt for next year.

Pumpkin plant: I’ve had 0 pumpkins. I’m not sure why but I don’t think I will try again next year. I did buy the plant on a whim and I’ve had loads of flowers but nothing has materialised.

That’s my roundup done. I’ve had a mixed bag of luck this year but, for my first every try at gardening, I’m pretty proud of what I achieved. I’ve got lots of ideas for next year and the moment I get a bigger garden I am creating a huge allotment space. Keep an eye on the blog for updates.

Inspire: Be Inspired

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The reason I created Habits of a Homebird was because I felt there was an audience out there that didn’t quite fit with the typical “country girl” persona. I’m a horsey girl who has evolved into a country bumpkin; something that has happened organically through my lifestyle choices, environment and the people I surround myself with.

I am actually sat here editing this post at 7:30am on a very drizzly and grey Monday morning; yet, I know that this is the time I am most inspired.

My goal for this article is to reach out and help my readers figure out when they’re most productive. My homebird community is all about bringing likeminded people together and I truly believe your most productive time should be used to invest in yourself. I’d love to hear your thoughts so comment, share and tag me in! 

To inspire, you must first be inspired, a circular idea that always starts with you putting down your own ideas and somebody taking initiative from what you’ve written. You may then read somebody else’s ideas and be inspired to create your own and so it goes. Surrounding yourselves with people who inspire you frequently is so important for self-development and it will motivate you. So start putting your ideas down on paper and slowly build up the courage to share them with others.

Another thing you should know is that to write blog articles, one doesn’t sit down only once and a perfectly formed piece will emerge. I’m always jotting down notes on my iPhone and usually in the morning before work, I will sit at my laptop with a cuppa and start putting down my ideas. The first draft will often take a couple of days and then editing a few more days if I am concentrating solely on that creative task. If I am juggling multiple projects then this often takes longer. So don’t be put off if your own creativity takes time – you’re not on your own!

Anything can be an idea! If I go out for the day with my camera, I will often write about my adventures. If I have a eureka moment in my equestrian training, I will most likely write about it. But also, if I come across some handy tips that I feel could benefit those around me, I will share those as well. I take inspiration from everything around me so making sure my surroundings are interesting and positive is crucial. If you’re stuck with your own creativity, I urge you to look at your circle and make edits. Hopefully, your creativity will then blossom.

Frumpy to fabulous

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Over the last month I’ve been experimenting with ways to improve my lifestyle choices and in turn, lose weight.

For a long time I’ve been unhappy with how I look and haven’t felt confident. I would wear yard clothes, work uniform or baggy jumpers yet have lots of Summer dresses sat in my wardrobe gathering dust.

On the 21st June, I sought advice from my closest friend who had personal training experience and my new lifestyle began. Now I’m not going to exaggerate anything in this post. I want it to be an honest article to help NORMAL people lose weight in a NORMAL way around work and a social life. No fancy diets or magic here I’m afraid and you won’t be shifting 10lb in a week. These are steps I have taken to kickstart my frumpy to fabulous journey and I’m living proof they’re working.

So here we go. I’d love to hear your thoughts at the end!  

An open attitude

Honestly, the best thing to adopt before any kind of weight loss journey is an open attitude. If you’re stuck in your ways with food or exercise you need to accept that to lose weight you will have to make changes. I did and it was difficult but so far I don’t think I could go back to my lifestyle before. Having an open attitude and looking at the journey positively will help you progress; remember, the start of the journey is you at your heaviest so try to not get bogged down about your starting figure. Mine was my heaviest weight by far but 4 weeks in, I feel less frumpy and more energetic, even if I don’t look much different on the outside!

Spices

The more spice you throw on food, the tastier it is. The tastier it is the more you enjoy it. The more you enjoy it the less you feel like you’re dieting. This is how I’m looking at food now! I was stuck in a rut making the same dinners so to experiment with herbs and spices was one step towards making new meals. I headed straight to Aldi to stock up as they’re super cheap and have a wide variety of spices and flavourings, as well as fresh herbs and herb plants for your kitchen windowsill.

Portion sizes

Looking back, I think my worst enemy was always portion sizes. I was never one for weighing food and once the food was on my plate I wouldn’t like to leave it or “waste it”. I started off by weighing my cereal and it was so upsetting that my usual portion size was literally double the recommended serving. Another example was when I would make a recipe from a cookbook and weighed out pasta to use, again it was half the amount I would have pre-lifestyle change. Getting this under control was difficult the first couple of days but after that my body seemed to adjust.

Water intake

Following on nicely from the point above, I’d always have water with my meal. I’d been told that quite often when you’re stomach feels empty it is often due to dehydration and to take a big drink of water. Well, I’m now drinking approximately 3 litres of water a day and can just about curb the snack cravings!

Alcohol-free zone

One of the most difficult decisions was to give up alcohol whilst I was trying to lose weight. Now, I come from a family of alcohol appreciators and not having wine, prosecco, gin or cider in the house was considered a dire emergency. I also recently purchased a crate of wine of Laithwaites that I hadn’t quite finished, so I had to hide the last bottles at the back of the cupboard. Alcohol is empty calories and as my body only needed about 1600 calories a day to maintain weight, let alone lose any, I didn’t have ANY calories to spare. So, since the 21st June I have only drank water or tea but a positive is that my skin has cleared up nicely. However, I did break this rule for my birthday but didn’t go too crazy!

Balsamic vinegar

I never knew how delicious this stuff was until I started using it to cook with. Throwing it over a steak whilst it is cooking adds so much flavour or it’s great to jazz up a salad. Farm shops have some fantastic selections and I’ve currently got a balsamic and orange vinegar to try from the brand new Elliott’s Farm Shop near Weedon.

Low fat spreadable cheese

I’m a cheese lover and between Dan and I we used to go through 2 blocks a week. Not great for the waistline! However, low fat spreadable cheese is great on crackers or Ryvitas and I still feel like I’m getting my cheese ‘hit’. I also fell in love with Parmesan, an equally cheesy substitute that you don’t need much of for flavour.

The Body Coach’s cookbooks

I’ve had these books for a few years now but never really paid much attention to them until I decided to start my new healthier way of living. However, once I opened them and saw how easy the recipes were, I never looked back! I’ve had cookbooks before where you have to buy lots of hard-to-find ingredients that could be expensive. They also only included recipes that take a while to prepare – something I found tedious fitting in around work and sorting the horse. Yet, the Shift, Shape and Sustain cookbooks from Joe Wicks are SO easy. As explained above, I stocked up on spices and coconut oil and now adapt the recipes so both Dan and I will eat them (he is much fussier than I am). We’ve had steak, meatballs, paella, sausages, pasta dishes and all of them are made with a healthier lifestyle in mind. I often share my own attempts of these dishes on my Instagram stories and highlights so have a look for some dinner inspiration.

Low calorie ice cream!

I LOVE ice cream. I knew this was one thing I couldn’t give up so had to research (as in taste test) quite a lot of the low-calorie ice creams on offer. The protein ice creams I didn’t particularly like as the texture of them wasn’t quite the same as normal ice cream. However, the Moophoria range from Ben & Jerry’s and also the Graham’s Goodness range found in Aldi are both delicious! The tubs are between 300-500 calories each and each will last me 3-4 days. The salted caramel Grahams Goodness flavour is particularly delicious.

At the point of writing this blog I had lost 4.2kg in weight just from these changes. I endeavour to lose more and will be sharing the progress over on my Instagram feed. I’d love to hear your thoughts so either comment below, on my Instagram post of feel free to DM me.

Green fingers

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At the beginning of the year I wanted to start growing my own fruit and vegetables. I’ve grown up with grandparents who always used their garden space to help stock the kitchen. I remember going to their house where she’d let us eat the juicy red tomatoes she had just picked from her greenhouse. I didn’t like tomatoes then; now, 20 years later, I use them in every dish.

My mum also made an allotment space at the bottom of the garden. This would be full of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, beetroot and runner beans. There were also apple trees, plum trees and cherry trees, as well as potatoes, chilli’s and peppers growing in pots. We’d make apple crumble, potato salad, plum jam and then use the rest to bulk out meal ideas. I loved digging through the potato trough to find the tatties for tea and finding extra apples to feed my horse – usually when we had too many and they were starting to go over.

Since moving out last year with my partner Dan, our small patch of lawn (fenced in by rotting panels with weeds taking over the patio) just didn’t quite fill me with the same excitement. Our rental contract said we weren’t allowed to change the layout of the garden which meant growing things in pots. I’m not a seasoned gardener so wasn’t sure where to start. I remember walking round our local garden centre in early March with the intention of stocking up on pots, compost and seeds but left empty-handed.

I wasn’t put off though. I follow lots of gardening blogs so after consulting my Grandparents about what was best to grow, I purchased some deep troughs and a half-barrel trough ready to plant some potatoes, strawberries and leeks. This was a good start and I felt so accomplished. This led me to spiralling and buying more seeds…

Since then I have spoken to our landlord and they’ve agreed to let me change the use of an old sandpit that was built into the side of the garden into a raised bed. I want to use this for salad plants and carrots, both from seeds donated by my Mum. I also get to paint the fence and tidy up the plant beds in which I have planted some sunflower seedlings. I may also plant some lavender as I love the smell and colour.

I planted potatoes, runner beans, strawberries, leeks, onions and beetroot in various pots. I have also purchased grow-bags ready for tomatoes, cucumbers, chillies and melons – all plants donated by my Grandparents. I am excited to see how everything turns out and can’t wait to eat some of the produce I’ve grown for myself.

Pony, practical and personal goals to achieve in 2020

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Every year I set myself a resolution. To be fair to myself, I do stick to it for a few months but then lapse and fall back into my previous ways.

This cycle of negativity is not something I want to repeat so this year I’ve followed an example set by somebody I follow on Instagram. Rather than the “join a gym”, “lose weight”, “travel more” resolutions, I have instead set myself 24 goals. One goal for each of my 24 years.

When I started brainstorming, I quickly realised that I had a lot of things I wanted to achieve, some of which pleasantly surprised me. They’re all achievable goals that I’ve started laying the groundwork for and they’ll help me to progress in my hobby, my career and in my personal life.

I’ve decided to share them so I can constantly look to close friends and family for support and also, putting them in the public domain holds me accountable!

So watch out, 2020 is going to be my year.

  1. Complete a sponsored ride on Hartley
  2. Run a 5k race for charity
  3. Complete a hunt ride on Hartley towards the end of Summer
  4. Read at least 1 book a month that isn’t related to work
  5. Enter our first dressage competition together
  6. Try making 2 new food dishes every month
  7. Jump a course of show jumps with confidence – tiny jumps count!
  8. Take Hartley on an overnight holiday
  9. Get back to working on some art
  10. Publish more magazine articles in my own name
  11. Use my position at work to fundraise £5000 for charity over the course of the year
  12. Start volunteering
  13. Start writing a children’s book
  14. Setup and successfully stick to a monthly budget
  15. Finish Christmas shopping by November – avoid the rush!
  16. Learn a new skill or language
  17. Grow a fruit and vegetable garden in pots
  18. Visit Scotland
  19. Write monthly articles on my own blog
  20. Don’t use my credit card for the whole year
  21. Go litter picking at least once
  22. Host a Summer party
  23. Successfully complete my level 6 marketing diploma
  24. Only buy secondhand clothes

Regaining confidence – the trials, twists and outcomes

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I recently put a picture on my Instagram page of an evening hack with my pony, with the caption discussing how easy confidence was to lose and how hard it is to gain back. I wanted to dive into this further as 2019 has been a turbulent year for me and I can’t help but think that other people in a similar lifestyle to mine must either be experiencing or have experienced some of these issues before. I thought by opening up the channel and discussing elements of my rollercoaster 2019 journey, it may help others to do the same; leading on to hopefully other people starting to piece themselves back together.

So here we go.

There have been multiple factors which have influenced my loss of confidence: a horse-riding accident resulting in a broken wrist, an extended period of no exercise due to said wrist injury, drama in my family life plus a few extras variables mixed in.

The reason I had this nasty fall was because my horse of a lifetime had an extended period of rest (18 months in a paddock) due to a previous injury. Following this he needed a slow and steady introduction back in to ridden work. It was during this rehabilitation process that I realised (with immense difficulty and with the help of some fantastic professionals) that even though I loved this horse, we weren’t right for each other anymore. Increasing responsibilities at work and being on a private yard meant that my health and safety was paramount, and I just wasn’t experienced enough or had the time to deal with a horse like him.

Before my fall I always felt super confident in my riding ability. I had been given the opportunity to ride some beautiful hunt horses every weekend through work, as well as multiple friends letting me exercise their horses over the 18 months of rest. I’d spent the previous 2 seasons out with the Grafton and the Farmers’ Bloodhounds doing some amateur hunting, riding club training, galloping along the beach and exploring the English countryside with friends. After the fall and 6 weeks in a wrist cast, it was like every bit of confidence I’d mustered since I was 4 years old pottering around on school ponies had drained out of my body. I was a nervous wreck. I forgot what it was like to enjoy horse riding and in all honesty, I’m only just now starting to figure it out again now.

As mentioned, I spent 6 weeks with my left wrist in a plaster cast. I wasn’t allowed to drive and even the simplest of tasks (washing your hair, doing up buttons) became almost impossible. I felt useless and this transpired to my riding. I also used to frequently attended gym classes and weekly workouts, yet the cast limited what I could do. I struggled to do even low impact exercise, such as dog walking or yoga, as my wrist was set at a certain angle to help the break heal. If it got knocked or moved too quickly, it would hurt; this put me off trying. I put on LOTS of extra weight and gained a dress size. So not only did I feel useless, I was also uncomfortable because of my weight and limited in what I could do to keep it off.

You mix all this in with family drama and it’s a recipe for a meltdown. I’ve owned a horse ever since I was 10 years old and the equestrian lifestyle is what I know and love. So to actually be scared of getting on a horse was a nightmare. To help combat this I had to make some personal changes.

Change 1) As much as I loved having my own private yard, my current situation meant that the only way I was going to improve was to be around likeminded people. People that work full time, own normal horses and have normal, easy and down to earth ambitions. It was this that made me move Hartley to a yard that my friend owns. It’s small but peaceful and suits me perfectly and she completely understands my position as she also experienced a loss of confidence in 2018.

Change 2) Starting everything from scratch. I really tore myself apart over my riding ability which was cruel as I didn’t have any need to. The accident didn’t happen because I was a bad rider, just an out of practice one. To combat this I moved Hartley and completely started our training again. We repeated the long reining, mounting block training, slow transitions and steering. Once I felt okay with this we started trot work but I’ve only this month (September) made it into an open field and managed to trot – 6 months on from the original incident.

Change 3) Make some realistic goals. I have always been ambitious and love making goals and being able to meet targets. However, there was no way that either I or my pony were going to be ready to try some hunt rides this Summer. That was my original goal for 2019 and we haven’t done it, not even close. Instead, I took a step back and re-evaluated our position. Now, my goal is to get into the HUGE open field next to our yard that has a bridleway running through it and manage to canter without panicking, on our own and with another horse. If I can do this before Christmas then I will be happy.

Change 4) Work on self-love. I’m not going to preach about how successfully I am completing this change because it’s a definite work in progress. I’ve learnt to accept things about my body but there is still plenty I would like to change. I need to combine this with change 3 and start to make some realistic and healthy goals (such as doing couch to 5k or committing to a weekly class again). I’d like to hear people’s opinions on this!

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So there it is. I lost my confidence and I’m now on the long and twisty journey of finding it again. Horses are a massive part of my life and the fact I can now get on Hartley and smile makes the mud, poo picking and insurance bills worth it. Even if it is just for a calm and peaceful walk around the track.

If anybody has been in a similar situation or has any tips, I really would love to hear them. Thanks for reading and I hope that by being open, it may help somebody else who feels they are in a similar position.

Hartley and I in an open field after doing some trot work – 7/9/19