Future career planning

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I’ve been thinking recently about where I would like my career to go now I’m working in marketing.

I like working part-time as it allows me the hours I need to keep on top of everything else and to not feel like I’m slipping behind.

However, do I want to be sat at a desk forever? Probably not.

I spoke to Dan about our 10 year plan yesterday (I have a 10 year plan – he just goes along with it!!!) and admitted that by the time we are finished growing our family, I would love for our income to partially come from our farming ventures. Whether that means diversifying or investing into new plans – we will have to see.

I don’t know how this will happen or if we can grow it to be successful, but I do know it’s a lifelong dream that we can’t step away from.

At the minute, my chickens in the garden and our tiny herd of Welsh Black cows won’t make us much of an income – but watch this space!

Back British Farming and locally sourced food

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Eating locally and using British products in my cooking is incredibly important to me.

This weekend, a long-standing dream of mine has come true and I am now the proud owner of chickens! So farm-fresh eggs will be used daily here in my kitchen.

Our homegrown produce is also ready to start harvesting – so apples, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, beetroots and peppers.

We still have lots of home-reared pork in the freezer, along with lots of other British meat from the butchers. I also love the fact that we have milk from our local milkman!

It’s a long process that I keep tweaking but we are slowly, as a family, becoming more sustainable with our meals.

Starting nursery – a parent’s reflection

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Taking your little one to nursery is a huge step. It often signifies the end of maternity leave and will be the place where your child will spend a lot of time.

I dropped my baby to his nursery intro’ session yesterday and as I drove away I felt content. I was prepared for the surge of emotions I was told that I would feel, but this didn’t come. I was also prepared for tears but instead, I was happy.

In the back of my mind there was the voice that whispered ‘what if he doesn’t like it?’ and ‘what if he doesn’t make any friends?’ but I didn’t listen and remained positive.

This lack of sadness isn’t because I was relieved I didn’t have to look after him for two hours – honestly, I do enjoy it as hard as it can be sometimes! But it was because I felt in control of the situation.

I had chosen the nursery based on how I felt when I went in. The children were happy as were the workers. The baby room was set out beautifully and there was always an activity they could get stuck into, as well as plenty of play and themed story times. There was also a sensory room for the babies to relax in if they get overwhelmed at any point and a relaxing nap space.

Bertie’s specific carer was lovely and spent time going through what his normal routine would be and answering my questions regarding meals, naps, and everything else.

I know the nursery will work to the latest guidance and is completely baby-proofed. So Bertie will have a full day of fun, plus 3 healthy meals, and plenty of love and care.

So I wasn’t sad because I knew he would love it and in time, eventually he will be asking to go to nursery!

It also gives me an opportunity to grow my career and earn an income for my family. Yes, childcare is expensive but I really do believe the benefits outweigh the cost cons. It also means that when he does see family, it’s a nice change rather than having to rely on them for childcare.

Some questions I asked when viewing nurseries are listed below:

⁃ Do the children have free access to water and drinks?

⁃ Are nappies, wipes and formula provided?

⁃ Do you need to provide bedding for nap times?

⁃ What safeguarding is in place for pickups?

⁃ Do we get notification of what activities the babies have been up to throughout the day?

⁃ What is a normal menu?

⁃ Are there any parents evenings or catch-ups with your child’s carer?

⁃ What outdoor activities are available?

What I appreciate now I’m older

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What do you think gets better with age?

The one thing I now appreciate more than I ever used to is a cosy home.

I like to spend time cleaning it, making it practical yet homely, rearranging decor and burning candles/wax melts.

I like the smell of the bread maker baking our latest loaf, or the clink of the glass milk bottles rather than plastic ones.

I like putting my money aside now to save for our home improvements. For example, over the next few years we will be investing in projects that help our home become self sufficient.

To briefly explain, my family and I live in a farmhouse that the previous owners extended into a horseshoe shape around a courtyard. So we have a big but awkward home. There are 8 bedrooms in total and 9 bathrooms. However, my family lives in the original farmhouse that makes up the left side of the horseshoe. We have 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. We have separated our house with a lockable door so we are at no risk of people wandering in.

The entire house is run on one oil boiler that is temperamental to say the least. We also only have one hot water tank that’s enough for 2 normal showers.

This year’s investment is to open up the chimney and replace our small, non-efficient open fire with a wood burning stove. In theory we will go from about 30% efficiency to 80% efficiency with our investment!

Also, now that I’m working from home and Bertie will be home on the days I’m not working, we need to ensure the house is warm. Something that it never seems to be!

Next year or maybe the year after, we plan to separate our house with its very own heating system. We have solar panels so think that an electric boiler could be the way forward. As we do this we will also replace our upstairs bathroom and have an electric shower put in.

So, as I age I have started to appreciate how making a house a home is time consuming and costly. But it’s also so worth it.

The importance of our dining room

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I am sat at the dining table in the dining room helping my little boy by feeding him his lunch and passing his water bottle every now and then.

The layout of our house means the dining room is the central hub of activity. With the front door leading into the coat area just to the side, this room is the entrance to our home. This is where we have home date nights, where we host friends and family, where me and Bertie sit daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner whilst Dan is out at work.

Here our dog relaxes in one of her two comfortable beds. Here there are pictures on the wall showing memories and there is a mirror above the coat hooks.

We exist around our dining room and I’m so glad we do. So often you see the dining room as a dusty space devoid of character, only used for ‘special occasions’, and often for family birthdays or holiday celebrations.

Ours is well used – not as clean as it should be (typical farmhouse!), and we have a secondhand table with 3/4 chairs remaining. Bertie’s highchair dominates the head of the table and you will often find the dog snooping for crumbs of his meals left behind. But it’s perfect for us.

I’m fully embracing slow living. It’s an adjustment that I’m working on and one of the most recent changes is to connect my calming Spotify playlist to the Bluetooth speaker that is often just set to play the radio.

Having calming music playing over mealtimes just seems to make me naturally slow down and enjoy the food. Also, to enjoy the experience of sharing a meal time with my baby boy.

I hosted a dinner party last Friday evening (slow cooker chilli followed by a rhubarb crumble) and I got to dress the dining room table up a little bit for the event! Nice glasses, a candle, tablecloth, that kind of thing.

There’s a time for relaxing with food in front of the TV but for me, the dining room is where we get to communicate and make memories.

Slow Living

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If you read my previous post, you’d understand that right now I am in a period of change.

I’m making an effort to live in the moment and reduce my social media exposure. So far, so good! I’ve been offline for over a week now and feel pretty positive about it.

So to extend this good feeling, I want to try and slow down in everyday life.

I’ve been doing some research and would like to implement elements of hygge into my lifestyle. To begin with, just slowing down and simplifying my days will be enough. It’s a big change – jumping off the hamster wheel and deciding to slow down and go against everything we are told is true. Such as chasing the career, having the modern home, the best clothes and possessions.

I’m stepping away from this. I’m buying secondhand, cooking local food from scratch, reading more, scenting my home and spending quality time with my family and friends.

I want my boy to grow up living in the moment and not always being glued to a screen. Once he is old enough, I want him to choose a lifestyle that has a healthy balance of work/life, indoors/outdoors – and my lifestyle will hopefully be a positive influence on his own.

One quick and easy element of hygge I’m trying to incorporate is to connect with friends and family more. Making time for good conversation and not just a quick text here or there.

Let’s see how this next week develops.

The flaws of social media

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The content of this post is original to me, but undoubtedly you will have seen these reasons listed before. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently and have hit ‘refresh’.

For a very long time, I have come to realise that I was entirely too obsessed with social media. Particularly a certain photo sharing app. Whenever I would open my phone I’d immediately open Insta’ as habit. Then I would mindlessly scroll through the best bits of other people’s lives and subconsciously compare them to me.

Often I was doing this when I was feeling tired or lonely – so the other lives I was being shown would seem perfect, yet unattainable.

But recently I had a epiphany. Which is highly simple but to me it was a revelation.

If I just didn’t use the app then I wouldn’t be comparing myself to these influencers and other lives that I’m not living.

So I’ve deleted the apps. It’s currently been 48 hours social media free (not long I know but for me it’s a record!) and my brain feels a lot lighter. I’m focusing on the tasks at hand, having fun with my baby and reading, chatting or watching television with my other half in the evenings.

This morning, I’ve done cleaning, laundry, gardening and I’ve also picked some fresh flowers from the garden to display in the house. Before I would have just scrolled through TikTok!

A new start: designing the Mum that I want to be

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I’ve been absent from my blog for a while now. After giving birth in November, motherhood hit me and I just have not got a chance to sit down and put my feelings into words. But here I am. I’ve found a little time and I’m attempting to put my creative hat on.

Motherhood – quite honestly the hardest, most stressful but most rewarding ‘job’ I’ve ever had. It’s like two full time jobs thrown together that you never get a break from. Not until your hormones have stopped making you feel guilty every time you leave your baby with a family member or even their dad. Until those crazy hormones subside, you just don’t switch off.

Now my boy is 6 months old, I’m making an effort to find ‘me’ again. Old Abii has gone and I couldn’t imagine myself not being a Mum, but I now get to create new Abii – a healthy balance of ‘Mummy’ and me.

Everyday now, I’m making the effort to do something that makes me feel more glamorous than just throwing on leggings, a baggy t shirt and hair into a bun. I’ve bought some new dresses and have decided to wear them, not just save them for date night or lunch out. I’ve started painting my own nails (I miss being able to have my gel nails – but maternity money means it’s a no no) and also putting on a little makeup. It’s amazing how much of a difference this makes to me mentally.

I’ve also said to myself to start thinking like the woman I want to be in a years time. As in, start creating mental habits that will stick for when my body catches up!

I make the effort to exercise everyday, ideally outside with Bertie and the dog. I drink a bottle of water everyday. I incorporate fruits and veggies into every meal we eat. I’ve cut down on naughty treats and chocolate/ice cream.

I’ve also started working towards my dream career by freelancing for a marketing company – investing time into my own skills so I can afford a comfortable lifestyle for our family.

Doing all of this is hard. It’s a lot harder than just grabbing a chocolate bar and just letting the dog walk herself around the pony paddock – which I unfortunately spent a few too many months doing.

What I’ve learnt is that to accomplish everything above, effective time management is key. In motherhood, your whole day revolves around feed times and wake windows so not over planning your day to start with helps with the load. I try not to book us any back to back activities as I know I just feel knackered afterwards. Something that wouldn’t have bothered me before.

So with my new healthy outlook and the start of my new lifestyle habits – this Homebird is going to be using her blog space to stay accountable.

Connect with me and let me know your thoughts – mamas I would love your help with my journey!

This Homebird is Nesting

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I am so happy to be able to announce that Dan and I are expecting our very own little farmer due on the 31st October. We are 20 weeks into the journey so far and it has been one hell of a ride! I was lucky that my symptoms in the first trimester were not terrible and aside from a little nausea and tiredness, physically I was fine.

When the tell-tale blue cross first appeared on the pregnancy test I was home alone. The wave of emotions that rolled over me were like something I had never experienced before. At first I was so excited and couldn’t contain myself. Tears just started rolling down my face and I didn’t feel like I could stop shaking. Then all of a sudden a wave of worry rolled over me.

I am naturally a paranoid person and have suffered with anxiety before so all of a sudden the excitement was replaced with every nervous and terrifying thought that stems from every single negative story I have heard of pregnancy and birth. Mainly chaotic scenes in films or documentaries created to hook viewers. Very quickly the happy tears were mixed with tears of fear and I was sobbing. I was ecstatic but terrified. A mix of emotions I had never experienced simultaneously before.

Once Dan came home and sat down in front of the TV, I showed him the test. He was happy but clearly also had some mental processing to do so we watched TV together and then went to bed. But the next day he was much more open to talking about the pregnancy and we both knew that we have such a big journey ahead of us. We booked the first midwife appointment, an hours long consultation where we went through family history and health questions as well as blood tests. We then had our 12 week scan booked for 21st April.

This scan made everything feel SO much more real.

Our baby was clearly happy – bouncing around, kicking out and waving its little arms around on the screen, showing off for the doctor! So we bought scan pictures and made plans to tell our families.

Upon reflection, I do think that up until this point it was hard for Dan to relate to what was going on. From about 5 weeks on I knew something was happening as I was feeling nauseous, tired and off my food (I am a real foodie so this for me was world-changing!). However, Dan’s life hadn’t altered much as he was just supporting me when I wasn’t feeling so fresh. Yet, once he saw his baby bouncing around on the screen, I really did see something change in him.

Once our families all knew (everyone was ECSTATIC and we have such a good support network immediately around us – a really lucky position to be in), we started making plans to save and then renovate the nursery.

We are now halfway through the first part of our journey and apart from a growing bump and some crazy emotional rollercoaster moments (hormones are WILD), we are getting on very well.

Let’s hope our bump is happy and healthy come our 20 week scan this Friday.