I am so happy to be able to announce that Dan and I are expecting our very own little farmer due on the 31st October. We are 20 weeks into the journey so far and it has been one hell of a ride! I was lucky that my symptoms in the first trimester were not terrible and aside from a little nausea and tiredness, physically I was fine.
When the tell-tale blue cross first appeared on the pregnancy test I was home alone. The wave of emotions that rolled over me were like something I had never experienced before. At first I was so excited and couldn’t contain myself. Tears just started rolling down my face and I didn’t feel like I could stop shaking. Then all of a sudden a wave of worry rolled over me.
I am naturally a paranoid person and have suffered with anxiety before so all of a sudden the excitement was replaced with every nervous and terrifying thought that stems from every single negative story I have heard of pregnancy and birth. Mainly chaotic scenes in films or documentaries created to hook viewers. Very quickly the happy tears were mixed with tears of fear and I was sobbing. I was ecstatic but terrified. A mix of emotions I had never experienced simultaneously before.
Once Dan came home and sat down in front of the TV, I showed him the test. He was happy but clearly also had some mental processing to do so we watched TV together and then went to bed. But the next day he was much more open to talking about the pregnancy and we both knew that we have such a big journey ahead of us. We booked the first midwife appointment, an hours long consultation where we went through family history and health questions as well as blood tests. We then had our 12 week scan booked for 21st April.
This scan made everything feel SO much more real.
Our baby was clearly happy – bouncing around, kicking out and waving its little arms around on the screen, showing off for the doctor! So we bought scan pictures and made plans to tell our families.
Upon reflection, I do think that up until this point it was hard for Dan to relate to what was going on. From about 5 weeks on I knew something was happening as I was feeling nauseous, tired and off my food (I am a real foodie so this for me was world-changing!). However, Dan’s life hadn’t altered much as he was just supporting me when I wasn’t feeling so fresh. Yet, once he saw his baby bouncing around on the screen, I really did see something change in him.
Once our families all knew (everyone was ECSTATIC and we have such a good support network immediately around us – a really lucky position to be in), we started making plans to save and then renovate the nursery.
We are now halfway through the first part of our journey and apart from a growing bump and some crazy emotional rollercoaster moments (hormones are WILD), we are getting on very well.
Let’s hope our bump is happy and healthy come our 20 week scan this Friday.
Habits of a Homebird 